


It's Little Things

by hoars, Wretched



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Angst, F/F, Mentioned Alcohol Abuse, Self-Hatred, Unrequited Love, season five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 08:09:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2341235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoars/pseuds/hoars, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wretched/pseuds/Wretched
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alison and Mona have a discussion about Emily and Hanna, and Mona has a talent for making things hurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Little Things

There used to be a time she was the most important person to Emily. She remembers her promises and stolen kisses. Alison would have to be stupid not to know Emily loved her different from how the other girls loved her.

I was Emily’s first love, she thinks when she sees Paige smile at Emily in the hall and Emily smiles back, sweetness radiating off her, I was first.

Alison didn’t know how she wanted to feel at the time. But she did feel something. Something she knows was the first tug of love.

She liked that Emily treated her as something precious. Plenty of boys could learn a thing or ten from Emily. It’s a pity chivalry was dead. Alison has always been able to lie about her happiness with a perfect smile. A skill she perfected from Cece. 

"I’m fine," she would say so much now.  
and people believed her. 

But now, Emily isn’t looking at her like that. Now she looks at Alison as if terrified any second this could all be a dream. Like Alison might leave any second and not look back. But she didn’t give the soft eyes. The eyes that said, “I love you,” before vocal chords ever did. 

It makes her nervous and upset in a way she can’t explain. 

***

Alison licks her lips, suddenly too dry and desperately in need of chapstick, maybe, her eyes trained on Emily’s shiny lips. The shirt sits on Emily’s bed. Harmless. Innocent. A simple white tunic.

"I wear it to bed," Emily dismisses when Alison picks it up.

"Oh. Paige’s?" Except Paige dresses like she thinks hipster is the only fashion available. 

Emily gives her a strange look before shaking her head and laughing slightly. “It’s Hanna’s.” 

Emily takes the shirt and puts it in her dirty clothes hamper. It’s too easy for Alison to imagine the outline of Emily’s body underneath the light, white material. It would be practically see through. 

And normally Alison would hide her thoughts, her private imaginings, with a bitchy attitude, but all she can think of is Emily using Hanna’s shirt as a night shirt and it makes her desperate. 

Alison thinks, just maybe, her chances to keep Emily all to herself are in the past. 

***

Alison knows all about pretty, fucked up Mona. 

Alison would be more drawn to Mona if there was no murderous A. If there was no Emily. Mona reminds Alison of the sort of heartless and scheming sociopath Cece wished she could be. Back before, when she was young and it was all games for entertainment value, she would have been proud of creating monster Mona. 

Now she’s pissed.

"Why did you do it?" she demands.

Mona smiles slightly, mocking and mean. It was like looking into a mirror of the past. 

"You’re going to have to be a lot more specific." Mona replied.

Alison wants to chew her own tongue off she’s so angry. She wants to know why Mona stole her life. Why Mona tormented her friends. Why Mona turned Hanna into a Walmart version of Alison. Why Mona took everything from her.

(Deep in her bones, she knows why. She just wants Mona to say it. It’s petty, but it’ll still feels like a small win.)

Alison can’t stop her eyes from flicking to Hanna and Emily. Standing next to each other, talking. From the lack of fear it might even be a normal conversation. 

Mona would have been a fun rival, back then. Seeing the intelligent light in Mona’s eyes now makes Alison cringe. Mona wants to hurt Alison in all the ways Mona’s been hurt. 

Mona tilts her head. Obviously trying to decide whether or not to tell the truth before picking one. Alison knows liars. She considered herself one of the best and she can tell before the first word, Mona decides to tell her that it is Mona’s own version of truth.

"After you "died" Hanna developed a small klepto problem," Alison keeps her face smooth. She knew about that. "She practiced with the best." Mona added sounding proud.

Alison’s face wavers slightly. Long enough for Mona to jump in with delight of more insights. Tiny, small things that add together to create a picture—

"They were doing just fine without you. You don’t fit in anymore," Mona taunts. "If Hanna didn’t like boys so much, I’m sure they’d be the high school sweethearts by now."

Across the hall, Hanna and Emily laugh. Alison hugs herself at the waist. She’s so alone—

"Hanna was the first one to find out Emily was gay. The first one to tell her it was okay. Which is the opposite of what you would tell Emily, right? I think I read that in your diary." Mona smirks, thriving off Alison’s obvious pain. "I bet if Emily crushed on Hanna instead of you, Hanna would have loved Emily. She’s a good person. A kind one. She would have given her best friend a chance."

Alison’s heart hurts. It feels like it’s swelling and ready to pop like a balloon. She would have given Emily a chance too. After they left Rosewood behind them.

"Shut up," Alison manages to say, the words barely a whisper.

"I don’t know," Mona taps her lips thoughtfully, neatly ignoring Alison. "I’m getting tired of the Marin parade of boys. It wouldn’t be hard to orchestrate. They’d be cute together. Maybe Hanna will even lay off the vodka."

"Don’t!" Alison demands. Jealousy creeping in making it hard for her to stay composed.

"Why? Jealous?" Mona asks. Hiding a small smirk.

Alison clenches her fists at her sides, and walks away before she hits the girl again. This time she’ll try to break something. Like Mona’s nose. She goes to class and tries forgetting all the small things that keep adding up.

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted on tumblr as Wretched10.


End file.
